Love is the Qualifier

Yesterday morning I received an email from a friend wanting to direct traffic from his blog to our activities in this space. He was hesitant to post the link without providing more detailed information for folks that may want to contribute. His concern is that people will be weary of helping a complete stranger to help other complete strangers in need without the conditions and terms of how that help would arrive clearly detailed. People would need assurance that our work here is right and good and real. The more I thought about his concern, I realized that my reaction to his response had less to do with him and more to do with my own fears. When I first started thinking about what I could do to help Haiti and help myself, all those concerns resonated with me as well. Now I look at the bigger picture and really see that these concerns don't just hover here, they hover in most other areas of my life. Everyday I navigate my way through a steady stream of fear and insecurity. I wonder, "well why would anybody believe in me and who do I think I am to make this happen or (and this is my particular favorite) what qualifies me ...?

I read his message several times before responding. The first word that came into my head as I gazed at the screen was love.

Love qualifies me to try, love qualifies me to ask and love qualifies me to give.

There used to be a time when I would pray and meditate for courage to be sent to me. I would fervently check my mailbox everyday waiting for it's arrival.

It took some time and many conversation with the mail person before I realized that courage does not arrive that way.

It comes to you through experiences which require you to be courageous.

It's the same with self love.

As I welcome this opportunity to unearth myself, I find myself smack in the middle of an experience that requires me to be loving.

Though I am astounded by your generosity, I did anticipate it, because I deeply believe in love.

Your benevolence assures me that I don't have to do this perfectly.

I just have to do it with love.

In gratitude,

Myriam

A Place to Start

As a student of life, I have come to fully embrace the theory that it’s not that I ask for too much, it’s that I ask for too little.  To that end, I recently enrolled in an online course titled Mondo Beyondo to gain clarity and focus about my dreams and possibilities. I knew in taking this action, I would be taking steps toward learning and healing the deepest parts of my heart. The first item on my list reads “ commit to learning more about Haiti and my ancestry”.

I was born in Brooklyn, and as is tradition in my culture, I was sent to join my brother  and live in Haiti with our grandparents shortly after my first birthday. My grandparents have four children and at the time of my arrival they were just stepping into adolescents. My uncles love to recount stories of my endless crying when I wasn’t being held and how they could always count on me to spoil a surprise.

Years later when my parents were able to bring us all to the United States, we continued our Sunday traditions of family dinners and holiday celebrations in a small town in Massachusetts. I have fond memories of learning to sway my body as my Grandfather taught me to dance. I ate meals of griot, mais mouline, and joumou,  not knowing that the flavors, rhythms and colorful language of this precious place held my family together and kept our memories alive.

In the years since my childhood, I have assimilated into American culture, so much so, I find it hard to recognize my own truths. This urge to learn more and reconnect with my culture is really a need to finally welcome my truest self to light my path.  A friend once said to me “ only what is authentically yours will be on fire Myriam”.  I have it written on a post-it stuck on my desk. I see it every day, but what I haven’t been able to see is how to determine what is mine, what belongs to me.

I have long known that I wanted to have the opportunity to make change on a grand scale. I started my toddler’s jersey line, Joy Spread the Word with this very intention. I can honestly say I have no idea what comes next, or what my role is. I do know that in the aftermath of this earthquake, this awakening, this seeking, the answers and opportunities will present themselves.

I have created this space to give people an opportunity to hold on to hope. I have created this page to give people an opportunity to feel the magnitude of real joy and the truest of loves.  If you let me,  I will deliver your love to our brothers and sisters and children in Haiti and in turn ignite the spark in my own heart, longing to burn bright.